The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz
I believe this is one of the best books to start off with if you are new to working on self-development. It’s an easy read that also has great information. I’ve done my best to apply the 4 agreements in all areas of my life. They have helped reduce a lot of stress and anxiety. Even though it has been quite a while since I have read this book, I’m still working on developing these skills as much as I can.
The Four Agreements also correlates a lot with what I have learned through training. There is much more to learn from the book, but these are my favorite lessons that I have pulled from it.
Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word
Not just towards other but towards yourself. Just like one of the core values of Boxer Fit, loyalty, your word means something. If you aren’t truthful with yourself and don’t hold yourself accountable to your words and actions, it will be hard to gain the trust and respect of others.
You also need to be mindful of the fog that creates chaos in your mind. It can be thought of a thousand voices speaking at once. Sometimes we become so overwhelmed with everything that is going on in our lives that it is hard to focus on what we actually need to do to move forward. One thing I love about the gym is it acts a way to help clear the fog. When I go train, for that short period of time I am able to shut out everything else going on in my life. It’s not me running from my problems, but rather me taking an hour or so to clear that fog. After I’ve trained I will come back to those same problems and it seems to be a lot easier to find solutions to them once I have a clear head.
Agreement 2: Don’t take anything personally
This is something I had a terrible habit of doing. I’ve gotten much better with it, but I can definitely acknowledge this is much easier said than done. Doing this has really helped me cut down on my stress levels when I think about others actions toward me. I try to think of it as no one is against me, they are just out for themselves. I don’t give this a negative association, but rather take things at face value.
In the gym I see a lot of people that can benefit from this. I used to be very self-conscious when I started training at a gym. Then after a while, I realized no one is paying attention to what I’m doing. They are there for themselves and probably more self-conscious about how they look rather than care what I’m doing.
Agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions
This is probably one of the things I struggle most with. I will think people are on the same page as me, when really we are thinking two totally different things. Or I will just assume people know what my intentions are by my actions. I would say most the problems I create for myself come from making assumptions. So to combat this, I’ve been doing my best to be clear with communication. I may not always do my best with it, but I have been trying.
This can easily pertain to people starting their fitness journey as well. Other people in your life may not know or realize what you’re trying to accomplish. So to you, you may be thinking they are trying to sabotage your goals by asking you to go get some drinks and wings or ask you to skip the gym during the week to do something. Or significant others may not realize the amount of commitment you are trying to put into your fitness goals and be taken aback by the amount of time you are putting toward your goal. So I would advise if you do see yourself running into problems, just have those simple conversations that can really clear things up. Usually once everyone is on the same page, it is much easier to move forward without as many issues. Then after you’ve talked to either your significant other, family, or friends, if you continue to have issues, you can be sure it isn’t because of miscommunication.
Agreement 4: Always do your best
In this section the main take-aways are your best may change from situation to situation, you only have so much energy to exert/give each day, keep quality at its highest, and don’t live to “just get to” the weekend.
In the gym, you’re not going to feel at 100% every day. There’s going to be days when your fatigued or just straight up don’t feel like being there. The most important thing is that you do what you can in that moment. Your “best” in that moment will still push you closer to your goals.
Like I said earlier, they gym also acts as a nice reset. We all have so many things to stress about in our lives, that it can easily take a toll on us. Using fitness as tool to help clear your mind, it can really help revitalize you and reduce some of that worn down feeling.
Lastly, rather than spending all week miserable, only looking forward to your 2 days off on the weekend, I try to enjoy every day. Just like a boxer (or any kind of dog for that matter), I try to live in the moment as much as possible. I look for things to look forward to or work towards every day. Not only have I been much happier giving myself things to look forward to and goals to accomplish, I also waste a lot less of my time. Before, I would let whole evenings slip by wasting my time doing nothing. Then by the time the weekend came around that bad habit would carry over and I was just letting time pass me by. By having goals to work towards, I spend a lot more of time being constructive and in turn feel more fulfilled. I obviously don’t work 24/7 or are always productive doing things, but it’s the act of striving for more that has helped add to that feeling of fulfillment.