12 Rules For Life - Jordan B. Peterson
When most people hear the word “rule” they automatically think it's something that has to be followed. Rules are made to be followed not broken, we are taught this from a very young age.
Rather than think of each the 12 “rules” as stipulations that need to be followed, it is better to think of them as guidelines. Each guideline offers a different perspective on how to tackle life in ways you either may not have thought of or… know to be true but don’t want to admit.
As you read through the different rules which make up the chapters of the book, you can see they are not black and white rules, but rather statements that evoke thought. As I was reading each chapter, I reflected back on times in my life when I could have acted differently to change certain situations or had done more to set my future self in a better place.
The twelve rules themselves are:
Rule 1 Stand up straight with your shoulders back
Rule 2 Treat yourself like you would someone you are responsible for helping
Rule 3 Make friends with people who want the best for you
Rule 4 Compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not with who someone else is today
Rule 5 Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
Rule 6 Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world
Rule 7 Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
Rule 8 Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie
Rule 9 Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t
Rule 10 Be precise in your speech
Rule 11 Do not bother children when they are skate-boarding
Rule 12 Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street
So rather than review all 12 rules, I wanted to share some of my favorites. It was really difficult to pick which ones I liked most, because they all evoke so much thought and self-reflection.
After much consideration, rule #7 would have to be my favorite; “Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).” It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with fitness, your family, business, or relationships, this rule can greatly improve the quality of your life. The premise of the rule is based on the thought of; “When engaging in sacrifice...that something better might be attained in the future by giving up something of value in the present.”
For relevance to my page, when engaging in a fitness endeavor, I believe fitness goals should be a way to strive for long term health and wellness, not get ripped fast. Yes we all would love to see fast results, but weight loss or muscle/strength gain takes time. We have to sacrifice an hour a few times a weeks, or sacrifice by not being to indulgent with our food to achieve our fitness goals.
We experience this rule by learning “what is expedient only works for the moment. It’s immediate, impulsive and limited. What is meaningful, by contrast, is the organization of what would otherwise merely be expedient into a symphony of Being.”
Yes, you may receive joy or satisfaction by obtaining things instantly. But think about the feeling you have when you reach a long term goal. When someone follows a crazy fad diet and loses 10 pounds in a week, they are usually pretty happy and excited. Then because the diet is not sustainable, they not only gain the 10 pounds back shortly after, but also will usually gain a few extra pounds as well. If you instead follow a good nutrition and training plan, it may take a little longer to lose those 10 pounds, but they are more likely to stay off AND you have now created the habits to help live a healthier lifestyle.
My next favorite rule would have to be #Rule 4; “Compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not with who someone else is today.” People too often focus on where others are or where they want to be, when they need to look at where they are currently at and where they have come from. It is then that we realize “Perhaps happiness is always to be found in the journey uphill, and not in the fleeting sense of satisfaction awaiting at the next peak.”
Focus on your journey, with aims of what you want to accomplish and the knowledge of what you have accomplished. Of course I have people I look up to, check out pictures of cool cars, and even spend time on Pinterest looking at cool house designs, but the majority of my time is spent focusing on the path I am on. I believe it is so important to spend most of your time focusing on yourself rather than worrying about others because “what you aim at determines what you see.” Therefore, if you are constantly looking to see what others have, you will only focus on what you DON’T have. This will not only make you feel upset about your own life, but it will also hold you back from moving forward with your own goals.
Once you begin to work on things for yourself “you are less concerned with the actions of other people, because you have plenty to do yourself.”
My next favorite rule would be #Rule 1; “Stand up straight with your shoulders back.” It is based on the premise of 350 million years’ worth of life’s experience. How you carry yourself affects the way you feel about yourself. If you have a good attitude and always strive to do your best, it will not only help your mental state but also help you be more productive. The way you go about doing this can be helped and facilitated by the habits you develop for yourself.
The last rule I want to go over is rule #Rule 12; “Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.” *or a dog, particularly a Boxer ;) People get sick, lose their job, and face thousands of other catastrophes on a day to day basis. With all the things that can go wrong, we need to stop and enjoy the little things every once in a while.
When I started working on self-development, I actually started do this a little bit. On days where I felt like it was a shitty day, I started enjoying a cup of coffee on my drive home. I would stop at Starbucks, get my favorite drink (an Americano), then roll my windows down and blast some music on drive home. I would just try to enjoy my cup of coffee on a nice sunny day. Just this little 10 minute drive would totally change my outlook for the second half of my day.
From that one little thing I used to do, I’ve now been trying to do that will kinds of things throughout my day when I need it. If I am having a rough or stressful day, I will try to find something to enjoy. Whether it’s something in the moment or something I can look forward to later in the day, it really helps alleviate my bad mood.
It also helps doing this on days where I am already having a good day. Even when my day is going well, if I find extra things to appreciate, it adds more fulfillment. Then it also seems to help the good mood last for longer. It’s just like the law of attraction. As I continuously find things to be grateful about, it becomes easier to continuously find peace in my day to day.
Before I read the book, I actually listened to several podcasts covering the 12 rules. If you search for Jordan Peterson podcasts, not only does he have a few episodes covering the book on his own podcast, but when he was a guest on several other podcasts he covers the book as well. They are all somewhat similar since they are based off of the same 12 rules, but each one was a little different and offered different perspectives of each rule. I would definitely recommend listening to at least one podcast to get a general feel for the book before reading. Having the background knowledge before I started reading helped me when I would reflect on my own life during each chapter. If you read the book first, I would still take time to listen to the podcast because the episode may elaborate on a section and offer more insight that you may have missed during your read through.