Relentless
Re·lent·less
/rəˈlen(t)ləs/
adjective
showing or promising no abatement of severity, intensity, strength, or pace
oppressively constant; incessant.
I love that the author used such a bold word for the title of his book. When I think of someone being relentless, I think of someone that just doesn't stop. Most of the time I actually feel a negative connotation because it’s usually being used to describe someone that is being overly persistent on an issue that they want resolved or are determined to obtain something they want.
The author shows this same line of thought, but rather than just have people focus on trivial matter, he shows that being relentless in your craft or passion is what leads to winning. By showing perseverance you’ll eventually get to where you want to be if you the stay the course and never give up.
The author, Tim Grover, knows all about winning. He’s not just an elite coach, but the best sports coach someone could hire. And even though I don’t follow sports very much, I knew his name and his clients before even picking up his book. Mr. Grover’s line-up of clients include Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Dwayne Wade, so it’s clear he knows about winning, what it takes to be the best, and how to build a legacy.
Relentless uses 2 tools to break down the content given in the book.
The first tool is the distinction between a
Cooler
Closer
Cleaner
These three distinctions set the bar for what’s considered good, great, and unstoppable. A Cooler is the average person who practices something passively. They are good at what they do but often find themselves using the term good enough. A Closer is someone who almost always does a really good job. They can be counted on to get things done. But they do things for the credit or reward. A Cleaner is the best of the best. They get things done because they need to be done. Not for the glory or reward but because it’s what is required to win.
The second tool is a list of 13 rules that “Cleaners” live by. Now they aren’t in any particular order and all labeled number #1, because each are of equal importance.
You keep pushing yourself harder when everyone else has had enough
You get into the Zone, you shut out everything else out, and control the controllable
You know exactly who you are
You have a dark side that refuses to be taught to be good
You’re not intimidated by pressure, you thrive on it
When everyone’s hitting the “in case of emergency” button, they’re all looking for you
You don’t compete with anyone, you find your opponent’s weakness and attack
You make decisions not suggestions; you know the answer while everyone else is still asking questions
You don’t have to love the work, but you’re addicted to the results
You’d rather be feared than liked
You trust very few people, and those you trust better never let you down
You don’t recognize failure; you know there’s more than one way to get what you want
You don’t celebrate your achievements because you always want more
Rather than go into detail on all of them, I’d like to dive into my top 3 favorite ones.
You don’t have to love the work, but you’re addicted to the results:
When you pick a goal or aim to achieve something, odds are it’s going to take a lot of work and sacrifice. If it doesn't you probably didn't choose a hard enough goal or something that truly makes you proud to have achieved. To obtain that goal or get to where you want to be, it’s going to require a lot of discipline and sacrifice. “You cannot understand what it means to be relentless until you have struggled to possess something that’s just out of your reach.”
Even though training is my favorite part of the day, there are plenty of times where I would rather be doing something else, or don't feel like doing that particular workout. But I show up every single day and stick to my plan. I know that if I ever want to step on a bodybuilding stage, every workout, every exercise, every rep will get me closer to bringing home the trophy. It doesn’t matter if I feel like training in that moment, what matters is that I got it done.
This goes for anything in life, not just bodybuilding or sports. I aim to read 10 pages of a nonfiction book every day. There are plenty of times when I really don’t feel like reading or sometimes don’t even really care for the book I bought. But I made that commitment to myself to read those pages because it not only stimulates my mind, but ensures I continue learning and is an investment in myself. Sometimes reading those pages may seem like a huge chore, but having an abundance of knowledge at my disposal to help tackle any obstacle I may face is something that you can’t put a price on.
While reflecting on this chapter it made me think about a quote from Gregg Plitt, one of my first bodybuilding inspirations. He said this while finishing up one of his workouts, “No I don’t want to be here right now. I’d much rather be at home watching the game. But later down the road, I don’t want to always be just watching the fucking game. One day I wanna play the fucking game, and by being here now ensures I’m not going to be a spectator for the rest of my life.”
You don’t recognize failure; you know there’s more than one way to get what you want:
This chapter really hit home for me because I feel like, for some reason I tend to learn things the hard way. I either try something insanely hard, don’t have the right preparation, or think I know better and need to try things my way. Any one of those reasons causes me to eat a lot of humble pie. But each time I learn one of the hard lessons, I don't see them as failures, I think of it as knowing what not to do next time. The only way anything is truly a “failure” is if you dont learn anything from the experience or you give up.
What many people may consider a failure, may also be a door opening up to that individual. The easiest example is right out of this book. Tim was a young basketball player himself who got injured. After his injury he returned to play, but it was clear he wasn't going to make the NBA. So instead he started coaching and now is one the most well known sports coaches in the world. People may choose to look at only half of the story and say he failed as a basketball player, when in reality that setback allowed a new door to open for him. Without the past experience of playing basketball, he may never have decided to walk that path and explore the opportunity of coaching.
If you don’t succeed at everything you do on your first attempt, does that mean you “failed”? Isn’t it a good thing that you keep coming back and working at it until you succeed? How can that be failure?”
You don’t celebrate your achievements because you always want more:
When I really think about I guess I’ve achieved some things to be proud of. Bought a brand new car at 19, got a degree, got a master’s degree, became an EMT, became proficient in a trade, got a job utilizing what I went to school for. Yeah it was cool in the moment for a day, but honestly to me each of these “accomplishments” were a means to an end to get me to my next goal. I think that’s one of the reasons I love bodybuilding so much, because no matter how long I practice it, there’s never an end. There’s always some way to improve, whether it’s put on more muscle, get leaner than before, or become stronger.
I think this mindset helps keep you away from complacency as well. Becoming complacent is dangerous because that’s when bad habits start to form. You start to allow more things to slide, then before you know it, you actually start to revert and create a negative place for yourself to reside in.
One way to start developing this mindset is to consistently set goals. Once you get close to reaching your goal, start thinking about the next one you want to achieve. This creates a cycle of always moving forward. And once you hit your achievement that you're working on, you pat yourself on the back once and get right back to work.
For not following sports much, I still really enjoyed this book. It put a lot of what I think at times into words. Mr. Grover shows what it takes to truly be the best by not only what he does with his craft, but by what he expects out of his clients. Anybody who puts in the bare minimum amount of work can be a Cooler. If you work pretty hard and get decent at something you can probably become a Closer. But very few will understand what it means or feels like to be a Closer. It’s a continuously shifting role to have that takes the ultimate amount of sacrifice, work, and dedication to not just be good or great, but unstoppable.